to my gay friends

2006.
here we end our friendship. the bible says no man should be with another man. it is not love. it's a sin. you're a sinner. i can't be your friend because you're a sinner. how could you even do this to me? how could you stain your religion?
i hate you.

2007.
it's been a year since we last talked. i guess i miss you more than i care to admit. it's weird: religious beliefs, human emotions, friendships. the ability to love. i know i should take you as a sinner. but i guess you know about love more than i do, afterall.

2008.
i still go to church. they still tell me that you're not a god's child. that you chose the wrong path of life. but i still remember words you used to tell me. when i swore loudly at you, and you told me that you pray one day we'll be sipping bubble teas together again.

2009.
after our first beers together, i guess i give up on god and chose you instead. you're my brother and who's god to separate us right? but you told me to go back to my faith. it's weird to watch you say that. after the church threw rocks at you, you still told me that i need the church.

2010.
i stopped trying to figure out what's right and what's not. if it's god or you.
i still refuse to believe you're going to hell for loving someone you chose to love.

2011.
i'm an agnostic. for you, i am. i apologized to god, but i can't continue believing that my best friend is damned for eternity. damned because he has the ability to love; when all i had was faith and the ability to send my own brother to hell.

2012.
i still pray every nights beside my bed, i kneel and beg to god. you said it's no use. you know you're damned anyway. you've given up but please know that i haven't. i'll pray and pray for god to accept you. because you're loving, faithful, loyal, trustworthy, you're everything the bible asked us humans to be. please know that i love you, "the greatest of all is love" afterall.